Ahh buzzfeed. Ever since it fell on the face of the internet some years ago, it has dominated news headlines with its bulletpoint style and pointless gifs. I do not claim to be an expert, but every once in a while I accidentally click on an article and I can muster up almost enough curiosity to read to the end of the first item.
But with the sheer quantity of published articles, they must be running out of ideas. Let's help them out.
1) 10 reasons you never knew you needed a bandsaw for your home right now. Make a list of 10 things which could be cut by a bandsaw and reasons why such a thing would need cutting. Of course we'll need pictures, just so we know what bread looks like.
2) 10 celebrities you never knew had a third nipple. Google "Celebrities with three nipples" and publish.
3) 10 ingredients you never knew belonged in a perfect smoothie. Google "common smoothie ingredients" and publish the results.
4) 12 tricks you never heard about which could save your life. Publish a first aid pamphlet in bullet form. Done!
Friday, May 22, 2015
Wednesday, April 29, 2015
Spring is in the air
Every year, I try my hand at balcony gardening, every year it is the same story; ecstasy followed by miserable failure. Thing is, every year I also spend more money on equipment and plants, my memories of last years disappointments frozen out of existence by the long wet winter.
This year, I promise it is the best year ever. I made some amateur mistakes (planting too close together, planting too early/late) but I managed to fix the mistakes early enough. In addition, I purchased several window boxes, so my real estate is significantly increased. This is the list of plants, maybe one day I can insert pictures.
1) Calendula. I really want to make salves for my poor poor skin. They are a cheery and 'easy' flower, but they are taking FOREVER to grow. I nurse them obsessively, maybe I am stunting them with my sheer hovering.
2) Sunflowers. This is mostly for my daughter. I don't know why, she is equally excited about every plant, but I also thought it would make a 'funny' balcony plant to have. I don't think we actually have enough sun, but I'm hoping for one of them to somehow manage.
3) Basil. The best. I love basil so much, and I use it a lot in our food now that it is right there and fresh. I have 12 plants (they are too crowded, I know) and I swear we can't eat them as fast as they grow. I bought 'starter' plants this year, instead of planting from seed. It was very difficult to untangle the plants, but I think it is worth the extra expense, because I never had luck with the seeds.
4) Strawberry. This was an impulse buy. It is silly to have strawberries on a balcony, you can't keep them watered enough in the summer and you can't get enough strawberries to make it worth the effort. If you have access to even a square yard of land you can get a viable patch, on a balcony it is simply impossible. It doesn't matter, because I like the flowers and I love watching the berries grow.
5) Marjoram. I bought it because I thought it was oregano. It turns out that the scientific name for oregano "origanum vulgarum" actually sometimes means marjoram, and I only looked at the name. It might be sour grapes on my part, but I have decided I like marjoram better now. I expect it to crowed out those "rescued" basil plants eventually, but somehow I have trouble extinguishing viable plants just because of crowding issues.
6) Parsley. I joked with my sister about how people say that parsley is 'notoriously difficult' to germinate, because really all you have to do is wait. I think that next year I will start it much earlier, probably in late February. This year I started late march, and I'm still stuck with these wispy seedlings. Parsley is, for me, the essential "home" herb, and I simply do not feel like I am home if my omelets do not have parsley inside of them.
7) Cilantro. I let my daughter plant some seeds, and she copied my every move, checking out the container every day. When they came up, she was so excited she regressed six months, tripping all over herself and babbling uncontrollably. It was adorable. Unfortunately for the cilantro, she finds it necessary to transplant every day, and she is less than gentle. Baby, if you're reading this, the cilantro is NOT rootbound! Let it grow!
8) Mint. It is silly to plant mint. It is a weed, it grows everywhere, and I can pick it from the side of the road. It doesn't matter because I like the smell and I love mint tea and I don't like collecting herbs at the side of the road because I'm afraid that somebody will inform me that a dog might have done something unspeakable to them. I learned from before that you barely need to do anything for mint, but if you care for your other plants you need to basically keep it in jail. Mint is the Borg.
9) Peas. I wanted a token vegetable. I bought actual seeds (instead of my usual habit of saving food to plant) and I let my daughter plant them. Afterwards I noticed a tiny sticker on the package informing me that the beans are coated with murder and if children come in contact with the beans I must go directly to the hospital with the packaging. In a horrible panic I scanned the internet for the ingredient. It turns out that it is a fungicide which is still used in sunscreen in other European countries, which is why the warning is only on a sticker. On the original package it only says that the seeds are not for eating.
I would still like to plant
10. Chives. They aren't that versatile, but I do like the taste.
11. Bay. Maybe I can have a bonsai bay?
12. Lovage. One day, when we have full sun;)
This year, I promise it is the best year ever. I made some amateur mistakes (planting too close together, planting too early/late) but I managed to fix the mistakes early enough. In addition, I purchased several window boxes, so my real estate is significantly increased. This is the list of plants, maybe one day I can insert pictures.
1) Calendula. I really want to make salves for my poor poor skin. They are a cheery and 'easy' flower, but they are taking FOREVER to grow. I nurse them obsessively, maybe I am stunting them with my sheer hovering.
2) Sunflowers. This is mostly for my daughter. I don't know why, she is equally excited about every plant, but I also thought it would make a 'funny' balcony plant to have. I don't think we actually have enough sun, but I'm hoping for one of them to somehow manage.
3) Basil. The best. I love basil so much, and I use it a lot in our food now that it is right there and fresh. I have 12 plants (they are too crowded, I know) and I swear we can't eat them as fast as they grow. I bought 'starter' plants this year, instead of planting from seed. It was very difficult to untangle the plants, but I think it is worth the extra expense, because I never had luck with the seeds.
4) Strawberry. This was an impulse buy. It is silly to have strawberries on a balcony, you can't keep them watered enough in the summer and you can't get enough strawberries to make it worth the effort. If you have access to even a square yard of land you can get a viable patch, on a balcony it is simply impossible. It doesn't matter, because I like the flowers and I love watching the berries grow.
5) Marjoram. I bought it because I thought it was oregano. It turns out that the scientific name for oregano "origanum vulgarum" actually sometimes means marjoram, and I only looked at the name. It might be sour grapes on my part, but I have decided I like marjoram better now. I expect it to crowed out those "rescued" basil plants eventually, but somehow I have trouble extinguishing viable plants just because of crowding issues.
6) Parsley. I joked with my sister about how people say that parsley is 'notoriously difficult' to germinate, because really all you have to do is wait. I think that next year I will start it much earlier, probably in late February. This year I started late march, and I'm still stuck with these wispy seedlings. Parsley is, for me, the essential "home" herb, and I simply do not feel like I am home if my omelets do not have parsley inside of them.
7) Cilantro. I let my daughter plant some seeds, and she copied my every move, checking out the container every day. When they came up, she was so excited she regressed six months, tripping all over herself and babbling uncontrollably. It was adorable. Unfortunately for the cilantro, she finds it necessary to transplant every day, and she is less than gentle. Baby, if you're reading this, the cilantro is NOT rootbound! Let it grow!
8) Mint. It is silly to plant mint. It is a weed, it grows everywhere, and I can pick it from the side of the road. It doesn't matter because I like the smell and I love mint tea and I don't like collecting herbs at the side of the road because I'm afraid that somebody will inform me that a dog might have done something unspeakable to them. I learned from before that you barely need to do anything for mint, but if you care for your other plants you need to basically keep it in jail. Mint is the Borg.
9) Peas. I wanted a token vegetable. I bought actual seeds (instead of my usual habit of saving food to plant) and I let my daughter plant them. Afterwards I noticed a tiny sticker on the package informing me that the beans are coated with murder and if children come in contact with the beans I must go directly to the hospital with the packaging. In a horrible panic I scanned the internet for the ingredient. It turns out that it is a fungicide which is still used in sunscreen in other European countries, which is why the warning is only on a sticker. On the original package it only says that the seeds are not for eating.
I would still like to plant
10. Chives. They aren't that versatile, but I do like the taste.
11. Bay. Maybe I can have a bonsai bay?
12. Lovage. One day, when we have full sun;)
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